


Our Stars

by AQuietThinker



Category: Five Feet Apart - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Hospital, Hurt/confort, Love, Terminal Illness, Wedding, cystic fibrosis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 19:18:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18350051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AQuietThinker/pseuds/AQuietThinker
Summary: He loved me.I loved him.But life doesn’t always gives us what we want. With my new lungs, I was supposed to have more time to live. But life wasn’t worth living without Will Newman.But Now... now it is.Cystic Fibrosis may have stolen time from me, but not love.Never love.





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! First of all, to those who have read my other stories, I’m sorry for not updating. It’s hard to get inspiration!  
> As for this work, it’s complelty fictional. It’s based a little more in the book than in the movie. And I’m not an expert on any of the diseases or medical procedures, so it can be a little inaccurate regarding those ‘fields of knowledge’.  
> Enjoy! ;)

I sat in the newly brought armchair, staring at the notepad in my lap. Camilla had insisted that a new implement would cheer up my room, and I couldn't agree more. If I was to stay in the hospital for another two months, making my room feel homey was a first on the to do list.

Even after a positive year with new lungs, they had contracted a new series of issues, along with another infected G-tube. I tried to be positive, for the word terminal was not in my file. 

Yet. I wasn’t dead yet.

The hospital had not changed much, but I still missed Poe´s presence. It was vaguely quiet around, even with music and a new record player my friends had given me for christmas. As for my room, it looked like before with a few upgrades. I had placed all the drawings, plus a few Nirvana posters (which I had taken a liking to). The record player, along with a few records, sat next to my med cart. Barb had earlier helped me install fairy lights, and now, at night, they looked magicall. 

But one thing was missing.

I crossed a bunch of lines from my notepad before taking my backpack again. Inside, I took out the familiar book, handmade. I opened the page in which a funny cartoon looked at me, with balloons and the charismatic smirk.

With care, I placed it on the window, observing it before Barb knocked.

“Come in!”

 

She entered with two milkshakes in hand, sitting next to me.

“All set up?”

  

“Yep. I think everything is okay. Maybe some more changes later.”

  

I sipped at my drink and leaned against Barb.

“I miss them.”

  

“I know sweetheart. I know.”

I Looked into her caring eyes.

“Is there any… any news?”

“Sorry, Stella, but none.”

  

Nodding, I laid back down, staring blankly at the ceiling.

\------------

After a week, I had accustomed easily to the hospital life. Mondays I had lunch with my mum, and Wednesdays with dad. A new nurse had joined the CF team, who was happily welcomed. His name was Dan, about nine years older than me. I later learned that he had lost his sister to the disease, and was willing to help anyone with CF.

I liked Dan. He had a goofy personality, with sassy remarks and a soft spot for Julie. The whole floor shipped them, but they seemed to ignore the claims.

Otherwise from him, nothing was new. 

I did my meds.

I wrote, listened to music.

I did my videos.

But something was missing. My cheery self seemed dull, and even I didn't know how to fix it.

I missed Will too much. I didn't know if he was dead or alive, if he thought of me. I missed his playful smirk, his remarks, his cartoons and kind eyes. I even missed his self destructive tendencies and idiotic choices. When we were together it was painful to not touch each other, but this was torture. I would give up my lungs to even hear his voice again.

But he was gone. 

And I had to keep living.


	2. The Will of Life

Because the hospital was my second home, I knew my way around very well.   
Barb had been busy the whole day, and I was glooming around the fifth floor. Technically I wasn't supposed to be there, but now a days nearly all medical staff new me. And did not give a shit as long as I behaved.

As I turned towards the elevator, Julie ran into me, her breath ragged with teary eyes.

“Hey, Julie-”

 

“Stella! You have to come downstairs now.”

“W-”

“No time Stella. Just hurry.”

She pressed the button various times before it opened, shoving me inside. We waited with tense shoulders as the elevator finally opened in the surgical bay. Barb was there, talking to a familiar women, both eyeing through a window in front of them.  
I turned to Julie, but she shook her head and motioned me forward. As the pair saw me, the women stepped back and sat on the waiting area.

“Barb? Is everything okay?” I asked.

Her eyes were tears, like Julie’s, making me worry.

“Everything’s alright, Stella. Why-“ her voice trembled, “Why don’t you go in?”

I stared at her for and eternity, wondering what the hell was going on. Finally, I took a few steps and opened the door, closing it behind me after entering.

The place was a typical recovery room, with a lamp dimly lighting it up. The bed was tousled with sheets, but the figure, chocolate hair and sleepy eyes, taking it was...

My hitched up. Tears filled my eyes.

It was Will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was supposed to be a whole post without chapters, but I decided to just make short bits instead. Tell me what you think!


	3. My Panicked Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barb gets annoyed when I panic.

I reached consciousness again in a couch, right next to the woman. Barb, Julie and Dan were staring at me with worry.

“Hey, sweetheart. How you feeling?”

I blinked a couple of times at spoke in a whisper.

“Barb.”

“Yes, Stell?”

“He’s alive.”

“I know, honey.”

She smiled at me.

“There’s more good news.”

“Yes?”

“You know the B. cepacia?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s gone?”

“What!?”

I started breathing hard again and Dan handed me my portable oxygen.

“How?”

I stared intently at Barb as if she was insane, then turned to see the woman, now recognising her. She was Will’s mother.

“We’re not sure Stella.”

“But what about his during trial? And the treatment? But-“

“Shush Stell. You’ll get your lungs in a mess again. We have no idea how, but, but! He still has CF. You still have to be careful.”

I jumped up into her arms and shrieked in happiness before breaking into a fit of coughs. Dan swatted at Barb and gave me another dose of oxygen.  
“I think that’s enough for now.”

But I couldn’t calm down.

“When can I see him.”

“Mercy Lewis, Stella. He just got here. You need to wait at least until tomorrow. Come on, I’ll take you to your room.”

Barb took me by the arm, and through the whole trip I blabbered nonsense.

When we arrived I threw myself to the bed.

“I love him Barb. I love him so much.”

“Yes, sweetheart. But he still has CF.”

“I know. I know. I know I know I know.”

I changed on, now dizzy from the extra energy.

“I can see him tomorrow, right?”

“Fine. But six feet apart.”

“Five.”

“Stella! … fine. But you have to remember-.”

“Five feet apart.”

 

I didn’t sleep in the whole day. My night corresponded of me checking out every single outfit I owned. Towards four in the morning, I had decided on some leggings with a t-shirt and wool cardigan. Frankly, I had fancier clothing but these were the ones I used on one of our dates. But then other thoughts came in.

What if he didn’t want to see me? 

What if’s filled my mind and before I knew it I was hugging myself on the floor.

Come on Stella, get yourself together.

I looked up at the drawing of lungs, Abby’s drawing. The one Will placed on the room, the day of my first surgery alone.

It was going to be fine. I love Will. He loves me.


	4. The Dying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Sorry for not updating, but the last couple of weeks I have been extremely busy. But here we are. Just a notice before you read: I am no doctor. I have no idea how CF and other illnesses work, so go easy on me. Please.  
> Enjoy :)

Along with my outfit, I decorated my face with very light makeup, and, for a finishing touch, placed a flower in my hair. Excitement and dread filled me as I made my way down, and found Barb, along with another nameless doctor, in front of the door.

“Still don’t like it.”

Barb gave me her impassive look.

“Come on Barb, we know and follow the rules. Always have.”

She looked at me hard before smiling and opening the door.

“Always six feet apart!”

I didn’t hear her last comment, for my eyes where now focused on the person in front of me. I had brought the latex gloves and other procedures, but had to fight the urge to hug him.

He was laying down, with the nose cannula and IV stuck into him, drowsy eyes widening at my sight.

“Stella.”

“Will.”

I stopped at five feet, sitting on a warmed up chair. With a gloved hand, I reach out. 

He took it.

“My Stella.”

“My Will.”

There was a beautiful silence. I wanted to hug him, kiss him so badly, but stayed back, watching his blue eyes as he stared into mine. 

“Stella.”

“Yes, Will? Do you need anything? I can call Barb in if you-“

He shook his head.

“No. It’s okay. I just wanted to tell you that… I’m sorry.”

“What on earth for?”

“I left you. I shouldn’t have. It was so fucking stupid.”

“Will…”

“Don’t Stella. I’m an idiot for wasting your care.”

“But you’re my idiot.”

He smiled and clung to my latex covered hand.

“Barb told me about the b cepacia.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have it anymore.”

“I still have CF, Stell. I can’t go near you. Your lungs-“

“Are not working.”

He went quiet with shock and horror.

“What?”

“They have been functional for a while. I got to see London, and Argentina. But I’m back here now.”

“What happened? Stell, is it the CF?”

I was now staring at my converse, holding onto his hand for dear life.

“My lungs worked for a while. Hadn’t felt that good since forever. But...”

“But?”

“Their not working anymore. We all know it. I’ve tried to ignore it, but it’s true. They were on 85% three months ago, but just dropped to 40%. It’s not CF anymore. I’m just on terminal.”

Will’s eyes clouded with tears and his heartbeat sped up.

“Wil, will please calm down. They’ll come in if something is off.”

He tried to comply, breathing hard and closing his eyes for long lasting moments.

“On terminal.”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry Stella.”

“Don’t be, please. Like you said, everyone is sugarcoating the fact that I’m dying. I don’t want you to be one of them” I paused for a beat, “At least we’re together in the end.”

“How much longer do you have?”  
“Five months top. Maybe a eight if I stay two months at the hospital.”

Will’s eyes filled with sorrowful tears, but kept quiet for a longer while.

“You? Where have you been, Will?”

“I… I was transferred to a hospital in London for about three months. Then again to Boston. I, erm, ran from the last one and took a flight here. Nearly died in the plane.”

I opened my mouth but wasn’t surprised.

“Why here?”

“Because Of you, Stell.”

“Me?”

“Well, as you can see, I don’t have much time to live either. The doctor in Boston said that I had six months before lung collapse. Or something like that.”

He spoke with his nostalgic goofiness, and I couldn’t help but laugh. He blinked before joining in.

By this time Barb had entered and watched us for a few seconds.

“Hands off, kids. Six feet apart.”

“Five!” We both said unanimously.

“Fine. Now, Stell, This troublemaker will be transfered to his old room. And you both need to rest.”

I groaned but complied. Barb had barley let me talk to Will, and I I pushed it she might lock us up forever.

“Stell?”

“Yeah?”

I turned around to face him.

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”


End file.
